I've been on a continuous journey of faith and self-discovery throughout my five decades as a practicing Christian. Though I was on a good path, I began recognizing deeply ingrained patterns of control and an unhealthy work ethic. I had sought self-worth through relentless effort, a pursuit that led to burnout, job hopping, strained relationships, and turmoil, taking a significant toll on my physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Seeking Healing and Embarking on Service
After searching for answers and guidance, I found support from an extraordinary Christian therapist. Together, we embarked on a profound journey of introspection and healing. Grateful for the opportunity to confront my wounds and work towards recovery, I joined forces with my husband to serve our church.
My spouse is a beacon of joy and unwavering dedication. He spends countless hours serving the Lord and our church community every Sunday. Last year, I joined him as a co-leader of the ministry responsible for keeping our church clean and welcoming, especially on weekends.
Struggling with Resentment Initially, I enthusiastically embraced my role as a co-leader. However, as I faced the challenges of filling open spots on the volunteer schedule, I succumbed to resentment and frustration for perceived failures. This responsibility began to feel burdensome, and I would complain to my husband.
While I enjoyed serving once I arrived, the anticipation of filling gaps in the schedule became a source of conflict between us. I realized my resentment was rooted in my desire for control, leading to discord, worry, and stress. In contrast, my husband remained unfazed by the schedule's limitations, approaching each task with anticipation.
Seeking Guidance and Embracing Obedience Amid my fear and inner turmoil, a glimmer of hope emerged at Church last Sunday. A female volunteer, a late addition to the ministry schedule, showed up to help, allowing me to seek solace and guidance in the Adoration Chapel.
Through prayer and reflection, God spoke to me, revealing my primary motivation should be serving others rather than expecting others to fulfill my expectations of them. I'm learning that my faith needs to supersede my fears and personal expectations; otherwise, I will always be disappointed.
God's gentle voice spoke to my heart, reminding me that my hope lies in Him, not in my actions to assume responsibility for everything. The Lord emphasized that my service was not about me and my desire to fill the volunteer schedule but expressing my love for Him, my husband, and our church. It was then that I finally understood the line from the song Amazing Grace: "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me." I was more than humbled.
With newfound clarity, I committed to welcoming God's will and giving my time, treasure, and talents more sacrificially. I resolved to allow God to work in others without me forcing their participation.
A Divine Encounter and the Power of Obedience
As I continued to pray, a young boy entered the Adoration Chapel. I had never seen any child alone in the chapel before. He pulled out a prayer card and sat quietly before the Blessed Sacrament. His presence was a powerful reminder of the freedom found in obedience.
Overwhelmed with emotion, I wept in shame and sorrow for only thinking about my needs. Once composed, I thanked the Lord for this revelation and left the chapel. I stumbled upon the boy outside of church and learned that he had received a prayer card as a gift for his First Holy Communion. He showed me the special prayer he was reciting. At this tender age, his devotion underscored my need for humility and surrender to God's plan.
My encounter with this nine-year-old boy solidified my conviction that obedience to the Lord is not a burden but a path to true freedom and joy. In embracing my role as a servant, I discovered a more profound love for God, my husband, and my fellow parishioners.
For me, the Lord's abundance overflows in the Adoration Chapel, speaking to each of us uniquely. The young boy's obedience, faithfulness, and holiness were a beacon of light, guiding me to view my life in selfless service and unwavering faith.
A Journey of Transformation and Spiritual Growth After all these years, I am beginning to understand that true freedom lies in embracing obedience to the Lord, finding joy in serving Him and others, and allowing His love to transform my heart and mind. Today, I pray to become an instrument of God's peace in my home, mind, and everyday living. In doing so, I hope to radiate His love and be a light to everyone around me.
As my journey continues, with each step guided by obedience and love of God, I am moving closer to a life of true fulfillment and spiritual growth.
Sharing God's Love Through Beautiful Designs
As a Christian digital designer, I believe that my creations have the power to uplift, inspire, and spread God's love. My greeting cards and stickers are uniquely designed to reflect the beauty of every woman and the joy of living a life aligned with God's teachings.
When you purchase a Patterns by Paula product, you acquire a beautiful design and make a statement about your faith and commitment to sharing God's love with the women in your life. I invite you to check out my Black Friday "All Month Long" Sale for significant savings and free shipping on purchases over $40!
I wish everyone a blessed Thanksgiving and thank the Lord for this opportunity to share my passion for faith, design, and God's love with all women.
Love,
Paula
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